Deana,

As I read this I felt such a strong feeling of despair in your words. At times when life gets me down I often feel that way too, like I am on an endless road and walking on..without knowing where to go or how long I must travel to reach my destination..
Somehow this really made me feel sad, don't know if you meant it that way, though!

Hugs,

5/5 Ingrid

Lilies grew by the side
but I dare not pick them
for in a vase
they would die
^^^
Deana I love the uniqueness of these lines!

I wonder if I might rest
Sit here by this stream
just off the road
Could I bathe in its coolness
To refresh my aching head
For I need its strength
To keep walking........
^^^
Deana sometimes we need that .... just to sit back and relax for a bit .... and look at the world behind us. Then pick ourselves up and continue on.

I really like how you used the title Deana.
Your poem shows the struggles but your title captures the meaning ....
Even though life is tough sometimes ... keep on walking ... because no one is going to carry us.
(Except God of course)

Thanks for the read Deana .... amazing and touching

Deana,

Honestly, I enjoyed this piece muchly. I found myself captivated by your first stanza, it really grasped onto my attention and created a calm feeling over the atmosphere allowing my body and mind to relax while reading this. It's been quite awhile since a poem has done that and i'm thankful for a few minutes of ease.

The only part of the poem that stumbled for me was the second line. I didn't like the few words "Bits of it" I think it is just because I don't like the word bits, I feel as though it didn't fit in here.. I guess it's just personal opinion though and whatever your comfortable with is whats important.

I enjoyed the meaning behind the poem, I found it to be deep and I feel as though each individual could relate to this in some way.. The feeling of giving up, too hard to carry on.. Alot of people have written a poem like this but you adding nature and some wisdom behind it was what made it elegant.

My favorite part:

"The road was long
Lilies grew by the side
but I dare not pick them
for in a vase
they would die"

That was beautiful, really. I loved the elegance throughout simple words. I can't express my love for the words above.

Overall this was such a lovely piece. Well done.

-Mel

Nice personification of our choices in life..the many times we undertook new paths and places we did not intend to go..Beautiful piece Dee..It touched me to the core..

Deana as soon as I opened this poem I instantly remembered reading and commenting on it.
It was such a touching piece!

And it is still as touching as the first day my eyes fell upon it, my friend. ~hugs~