The Passionate Chords to His Soul (English Sonnet)

by KeyxMashingxParody   May 5, 2009


Each breath, like a melody deep within,
Echoing addictive vibrations, notes.
The guitar reverberates passionate sin,
Constricting the silence, it tries to cope.

Holding on to the music from his heart,
He runs his fingers down the chords once more.
He memorizes each strings unique part,
Knowing this music is what he adores.

Nothing compares to this feeling of peace,
Caressing each chord with the softest touch.
Giving up music is brutal, at least,
Loving this melody, so very much.

Yet time is cruel, silence urges closer,
As the melody fades, peace is over.

-Elizabeth Harris-

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Beth, another sonnet..

    Each breath is like a melody deep within,
    ^
    The intensity here is incredible. You may want to drop the word 'is' and use a comma after breath; not only will this correct the syllable count it will leave a nice pause after the word breath?

    Echoing addictive vibrations of notes.
    Nice description of this intensity. Maybe some punctuation and drop the word 'of' to make the syllable count '10'

    The guitar strings vibrate passionate sin,
    A nice twist in emotion here, it really gets the reader thinking. Maybe you could use the word 'reverberate' instead of 'strings and vibrate'? You have used the word vibration above already and the reader will understand the lines meaning without the word 'strings' - just an idea?

    Constricting the silence as it tries to cope.
    ^
    Maybe 'The silence vacuums as it tries to cope? That would correct the syllable count.

    Holding on to the music from his heart,
    ^
    Love is like music; a song you that you never want to stop listening to.

    He runs his fingers down the chords once more.
    ^
    This is like heart strings. I can see the imagery here.

    He memorizes each strings unique part,
    ^
    Attention to detail; taking time to feel the love, know the love, merge with the love.

    Knowing this music is what he adores.
    ^
    Good.

    Nothing compares to this feeling of peace,
    Caressing each chord with the softest touch.
    ^
    This is very much like the 6th line.

    Giving up music is brutal, at least,
    Loving his music, oh so very much.
    ^
    The word 'music' stands out here. Maybe the word 'lyrics' instead of the 2nd 'music', this would also add alliteration with 'Loving'

    Yet in this calming satisfaction of,
    Music embraced by his passion and love.
    ^
    The final 'rhyming' couplet needs a tweak or two. It does however summarise the poem, which is good.

    Sonnets are very hard to write, if anyone thinks otherwise they should give it a try. You my dear have written a beautiful poem and apart from a few technical flaws it is wonderful. But hey, my sonnets are flawed too! lol

    Well done.

    Michael

  • 16 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    This was really well written.
    Although...

    <Yet in this calming satisfaction of,
    Music embraced by his passion and love.>

    This distracted be quite a bit. You should probably find a different word to rhyme with love so the readers don't lose focus.

    Other than that, beautiful sonnet.

    Bri~

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