The King Sails To The Stars

by Wishmaster   Jun 2, 2009


Sing the old song to bring him back
To save us from the intruding black
Our king flys away
Never to return our way

The pain has come to know
The Fathers so long ago
We inherit the same fate
Come and save us before its too late

The king flys to lands afar
Our king sails to the stars
Will he save us from this pain
Or will he leave us to the burning rain

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by RainbowSlider

    Very Good.

  • 14 years ago

    by Dark Savior

    Good poem I'm still confused on the metaphor here(I think it's religious not sure though)

    I like the poem but felt that the second stanza fourth line really messed with the flow.

    Last stanza third line save and us should be reversed.

    Not really sure why I like this poem that much I believe it's because of the flow and the hidden metaphor I really liked it wonderful job.

    5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by cowgirlstar26

    It flows good , but I think it could be a lot better if you added to it , or maybe use more descriptive vocab? but if not it's fine the way it is, keep it up!

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