The Awakener

Enjoyable read.

"Dream a world in white
Tell me what you see tonight
Will we live to see the oceanborn
Or will we forever mourn"

Excellent rhyming and opening for the reader. Shouldn't there be a space between "ocean" and "born"?

"Fall from the high star
Feel the burning scar
All life is a dream
All is not what it seem"

I love what you are saying here, and you truly bring the reader into this piece and into your thoughts.

Last line- Maybe add "may" after "it". It reads better and is easier to understand.

"Harbingers weep in pain
For the loss of healing rain
The Awakener has foreseen
The world in white, merely a dream"

My favorite stanza, your wording is so real and unique. A very captivating write that held me in the whole way. Wish it was longer though.

5/5 from me, keep writing, always and forever...

~MaryAnne