When i am with you

That is an amazing poem I could never put into words what I felt but this explains everything amazing job

"Happiness is a treasure
That i find when i am with you
That everlasting moment
When i am no longer blue"

Ok, i loove loooove love this part it shows u have great talent and know what ur doing, (my favorite part here) i wouldnt fix it but thats just me...

"Every time you are by my side
My heart skips a beat
But time goes by so slowly
When i am away from you"

this however...wasn't a good follow up, i get your point and i know what ur saying and its even an easy read... its just not sticking to the pattern... If id have a say in it i might go with somthin like;

"Evertime I'm by your side,
My heart skips a beat,
This crush i have is hard to hide."

Yet i suck and have no clue what to put as the fourth line... just work on it ull find out a better way ^_^

"A sense of security
Is what i get every time
And now all i wish for
Is for you to be mine."

Time and mine dont ryme but for what u where working with u did a marvilous job!

All together a wonderful poem, you chose a subject any teenage girl could relate to (i know i can) and u made ur message clear! i loved it 5/5 from me =]