My Prayers

by Gasttlee   Jun 25, 2009


Every second I live
is the second I'm dying.

I've been praying and yearning for many years
for the one thing everyone has over me.

The warmth and value of true love
from family to beyond.

I've lost much of my humanity
to the constant pain and torture
of suffering and depth in the shadows of my domain,
the dark.

Every moment I regain that heart
is always slashed
by the dagger of the demon.

Whoever and whatever I touch
dies in an instant.

I'm the murderer of my being
and to everyone that comes into my life.

What I do
is to insure that no one gets hurt
because of me
and suffers the deaths I've endured.

I make sure that what I've died from
no one else will ever pass.

All life will be preserved
no matter what happens.

If I can't have my humanity restored,
all I ask is that heart of humanity
never dies from being.

It will always remain
with every ounce of spirit
in each and every one of us.

Please give all the strength and will necessary
to carry out this wish for all eternity.

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  • 16 years ago

    by kelleyana

    "What I do
    is to insure that no one gets hurt
    because of me
    and suffers the deaths I've endured". This shows you'd a kind heart towards other but very hard with yourself. Your writings are great. Keep it up, 5:5, kel.

  • 16 years ago

    by Cindy

    What a very heart wrenching piece you have penned.

    Every second I live
    is the second I'm dying.

    This lines really hit me....I can relate.

    I've been praying and yearning for many years
    for the one thing everyone has over me.

    The warmth and value of true love
    from family to beyond.

    Sometimes even when you have them you can feel alone.

    I've lost much of my humanity
    to the constant pain and torture
    of suffering and depth in the shadows of my domain,
    the dark.

    These words really grip the readers heart. How many of us suffer in the dark?

    Every moment I regain that heart
    is always slashed
    by the dagger of the demon.

    Whoever and whatever I touch
    dies in an instant.

    I have this feeling that everyone and everything I love goes away. You did a wonderful job on this piece.
    I really enjoyed the read.
    Take Care
    Cindy

  • 16 years ago

    by The Queen

    Every second I live
    is the second I'm dying.
    ^^These lines were too simple for a start..
    I would suggest if you'll rephrase like:
    Every second I live coincide
    with every breath of me, dying...

    I've been praying and yearning for many years
    for the one thing everyone has over me.
    ^^I think it would look good if you'll remove 'and" between praying and yearning and replace it with a comma, plus the second line was not conveying any emotion pertaining to the first line.

    I've lost much of my humanity
    to the constant pain and torture
    of suffering and depth in the shadows of my domain,
    the dark.
    ^^These were my favorites lines from you. I think it was flawlessly written.

    Every moment I regain that heart
    is always slashed
    by the dagger of the demon.
    ^^I think the repetition of the word "the" was not necessary.

    The above suggestions were just my opinions and not necessarily to be followed.This piece was actually ok, i thought you might like some ideas from others.

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