The Sun, Our Solace

by GoodMorning   Jul 14, 2009


The sun, she keeps me warm
in the daytime hours. I stand
in the tickling blades of freshly
cut grass. They poke at buried
memories. Slightly; only slightly.

Warm rays released, rush
to my side for company. Weave
themselves into my skin: a feeling
reminiscent of your touch.

--Not sure I've finished this one yet, still working on it/tweaking it a bit. I'll more than likely add more within the next few days, as well as complete a sort of sister poem. (: Won't give it away, though. ;P

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Liz

    Holy macaroni!
    brittknee, first of all i wanna tell you that i ufckgin miss you and love you loads!!!
    and secondly this is probably one of thee most amazing things i've read. i didn't know you still posted! i suck at leaving comments, but this was B-E-A-Utiful!
    i wanna read the nextt =]

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "The sun, she keeps me warm
    in the daytime hours."

    A beautiful opening line, everything about it is so powerful, even though they are simple lines they hold much meaning. Great descriptions.

    "I stand
    in the tickling blades of freshly
    cut grass."

    I like your style in this piece, it is fun to read. I really loved how you described blades as "tickling", I haven't heard that one before, very unique.

    "They poke at buried
    memories. Slightly; only slightly."

    Love "poke" and "buried memories".

    The line after that really struck me, your wording has such an affect on the reader. Nice work.

    "Warm rays released, rush
    to my side for company."

    This is a really original way of wording this, it gives off so much imagery and just sets the scene for the reader. I didn't like the repetition of "warm" though, maybe use a synonym?

    "Weave
    themselves into my skin: a feeling
    reminiscent of your touch."

    Wow, this was breathtaking, the whole concept of this piece was brilliant. And "weave themselves into my skin", just made me speechless. Your talent shined throughout every line, you should be proud of this piece!

    5/5 from me, keep writing forever and always.

    ~MaryAnne

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