I love how you describe everything like "trembling" for fingertips, but you do not go overboard with the adjectives. I never have heard "betwixt" before, I liked how it sounded when read, different and mysterious.
Great work, not my favorite, since "appears" is so common but it was still good.
"An effortless toss,
and it's set afloat
into the unknown;"
This was striking to the read, "into the unknown" just amazed the reader and kind of stunned them for a second.
while shifted by
rapid currents of
Loved the ending, this is my all time favorite style of writing, free verse the way you do it. It makes the poem so easy and flowing to read and really adds a nice touch.
This was brilliant Temps, even beyond that, your poems just keep getting more professional, but then again you were already that a long time ago! I love reading your poetry and watching your poems grow more in-depth and powerful. So congrats on this piece, never get rid of it, its a gem.
Wow this poem was amazing! I mean you made something that if you were to watch may only take a few seconds into something so thought provoking and magical! It was simple which was a nice change in pace. Awesome job. 5/5
Wow I can not believe I didn't comment this piece earlier. I remember reading it many, many times and loved it.
entwine in spiral
beneath the heart's
This was my favorite part. I love the uniqueness of this --->
" Unspoken secrets
entwine in spiral
Gives the reader a very strong image!
I love how you draw me (the reader) in with such fresh unique lines
" Twirling its fragile
trembling fingertips; "
Words placed so perfectly !
I loved this write Temps ! It captures your attention and holds it from beginning to end.
A little late but .... congrats on the win. Very deserving !
The second last stanza is my fav. No wonder you win with this one. It's different and in no way cliche. It's sad in a twisted kind of way with a very dark era. It delves really deep and gets to the core. Excellent write again.