Take the First Step

It’s taken me a while
But I am finally coming back,
For it wasn’t all that long ago
My brain went out of whack

I used to think, “You’re ugly!
Why on earth are you even here?
If all your friends and family,
Don’t even really care!

I used to think this so much
I began to think it true
“You’re dumb, you’re fat, you’re ugly!”
There was nothing I could do

But then I was stuck by a thought
One I thought would surely win
I would take a knife and carefully
I would place it to my skin

And then I would dig in
With all the force I had
Out would come all my emotions
My hurt, my angst, my sad

This idea was a charm,
For about a week or two,
But then one day, I looked down
And saw the pain I went through

My arm was ugly and scarred
I could not stand to look alone.
So I took a breath, and holding back tears
Picked up the telephone

With shaking hands I dialled
The number of my friend,
There was no turning back now
This shit would have to end

I heard a faint, “hello?”
And I asked for my dear friend
And than I heard a “this is me”
And I burst into tears again!

Through the sobs and weeps I told her
The story of my life
A told her what I was feeling
And the thing about the knife

She really helped me through
And as I went to say goodbye
I told her, Joha, thank you,
And she said it’s okay to cry

It’s okay to cry if you’re happy
It’s okay to cry if you’re sad
As long as someone loves you,
It’s okay to cry when you’re mad

And so the moral is
If you take the first movement
The rest becomes so easy
You’ll be wondering why you were bent