Comments : Crowds of Two

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Maybe it's me, maybe it's you
    Maybe it's the secret crowds of two
    Maybe it's time we realize
    These crowds of two have parted ways"

    This was a good opening, I could imagine this being a song. Carry on.

    "Well I'm still trying to
    Hold on tight to the refused
    Hidden ways and hidden lives
    Have lead us here to realize, to realize"

    Normally, I would not like the repeat of "hidden" and "realize" but it worked well in this song, and I could easily sing this in my mind, and come up with a tune.

    "It's unthinkable
    We're unsinkable
    Maybe, baby
    We're just critical
    Unbelievable
    Inconceivable
    Maybe, baby
    We're incapable"

    I liked this style, it was fun to sing and it held my interest. The wording is powerful too and is interesting.

    "So let's drift away tonight
    Let stars and moons collide
    So let's drift apart tonight
    Let crowds of two be denied"

    Refrain right? This was cute, and the way you worded it was wonderful.

    "Well maybe it's me, but it was you
    That gave me space but no breathing room
    I tried so hard not to let you down
    But without air I sank and drown"

    In the last line, "drown" should be "drowned" then it will make more sense.

    "It's unthinkable
    We're unsinkable
    Maybe, baby
    We're just critical
    Unbelievable
    Inconceivable
    Maybe, baby
    We're incapable"

    Love this part, its so catchy still!

    And the rest of this song was excellent, you have much talent and I greatly enjoyed reading your lyrics. Keep it up!

    5/5 from me, take care and God bless you!

    ~MaryAnne

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    These lyrics flow nicely and I am sure would sound wonderful with the right tune behind them. there is nothing unsual about the theme at all.

  • 14 years ago

    by Second to None

    Wow this is really good. have you though of a tune yet? because if not if you wanted i could make a tune for it. i write music. i play the violin most. and to the side i play piano and drums. :)