TRUE LOVE </3

by The Lady of Shalott   Sep 5, 2009


If I'm true to myself
No one can take his place
He was the one I loved
but now he's left without a trace

It's been so long
since I've tried to even try
At night I lay awake
telling myself not to cry

I squeeze my pillow tight
and think back to when he was here
I remember all the times
he kissed away every last fear

I just wish my memory
would let me let him go
I hide behind a smile
my feelings, I refuse to show

Trust is something I do not have
or ever give away
And when I start to talk about him
I don't know what to say

I'm reaching out for help
or guidance from above
someone tell me what to do
when you realize there's no such thing as TRUE LOVE

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  • 14 years ago

    by Stephanie Michelle

    First off. I think this is a well-structured poem though It is very cliche. Everyone has a poem of this sort that they've written, just try to stay away from over-used topics when writing.

    "If I'm true to myself
    No one can take his place
    He was the one I loved
    but now he's left without a trace

    It's been so long
    since I've tried to even try
    At night I lay awake
    telling myself not to cry"

    The flow in these two stanza's is good; though you should add in punctuation.

    "I squeeze my pillow tight
    and think back to when he was here
    I remember all the times
    he kissed away every last fear"

    This is probably my favourite stanza out of the whole poem.

    "I just wish my memory
    would let me let him go
    I hide behind a smile
    my feelings, I refuse to show"

    Another beautifully written stanza :)

    "Trust is something I do not have
    or ever give away
    And when I start to talk about him
    I don't know what to say"

    Maybe it's just me, but I dont find that this stanza flows AT ALL. I would change it to something like this..

    Trust? A feeling I don't have,
    Nor ever give away.
    My words of him are incomplete,
    I don't know what to say.

    "I'm reaching out for help
    or guidance from above
    someone tell me what to do
    when you realize there's no such thing as TRUE LOVE "

    Once again, the flow in this stanza is a bit choppy.

    Overall I found the poem to be well written, you just need to add in punctuation and work on your flow.

    It was a pleasure to read. (:

    -Stephanie