Dead to me?

In the sunshine
I fake a smile
Out of sight, out of mind
Works for a while

Can't face this reality
Don't want to see truth
The heart hurts too much
To allow thoughts of you

I've closed my heart
I've locked it tightly
Because in my mind
You are dead to me

But as darkness falls
I lay my head down
I close my eyes
And listen to the sounds

The sounds inside
That try to escape
The thoughts of you
I cannot forsake

And as I drift off to sleep
It is you that I face
In a different time
And a different place

Nothing stays the same
except that you're everywhere
No matter what I dream about
it's you that is always there

And you leave me again
You tell me you don't care
So many different ways
To relive the same nightmare

It wears me out
It drains me
It takes so much effort
To be free

It's been so easy by day
To block you out
But every night
It's you I dream about

Your supposed to be dead to me
I left you behind
So why at night
Are you on my mind.

Maybe it's time
That I face the real truth
And admit what I can't face
I still so very much love you.