Comments : Happily Together

  • 14 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    A good poem yet there are a thousand better love poems on this site,don't despair read more, edit and you will get better. You have excellent potential but be patient and persevere.
    The last line is a contradiction,
    perhaps - , leads me to thinking about you.
    4/5 Ray S

  • 14 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    OH this poem was so sweet. it had a warm feeling for like 5 seconds nice write.^^

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I think this is something we all feel at somepoint, the beginning stages of love--which is given the name infatuation. I dont feel this is the best love poem Ive read but it is from someone who is experssing their feelings...and you cant alter or offer suggestions on poems like these. Nicely done, but not the most original Ive read.

  • 14 years ago

    by Broken Masquerade

    Aww i love it. Especially the beginning.

    "When I am with you I feel no pain,
    It's as if everything is perfect.
    When your arms are around me,
    I feel like every thing's gonna be alright"
    ^It captured me straight away, i love the emotion.

    It was powerful and flowed quite well. It is also something that alot of people can relate to..

    Well done, 5/5 :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    This one was pretty good, but I wanted more description of what you felt. The parts you did describe were done well but I think you could have added another couple stanzas to make this one a lot stronger. Good work though none the less I gave it a 4/5 :)

  • 14 years ago

    by alysha

    This poem was really well done i love reading what you write keep it up ♥

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This on really reflects feelings of being in love

    Well done I would change a thing

  • 14 years ago

    by Stazifer Stazington

    Kinda generic and obsessive.

    i didn't feel any substance, but i don't mean to demotivate you. skim through a dictionary or a thesaurus to use better words.

  • 14 years ago

    by Lori

    It is wonderful to feel love. Although it can be dangerous, it takes over you and it makes your life feel lovely. You did a great job expressing these feelings in this piece. It was simple and well written :)

    When I am with you I feel no pain,
    It's as if everything is perfect.
    When your arms are around me,
    I feel like every thing's gonna be alright.
    When I am with you my worries are gone,
    Only happiness is what I feel.

    ^As I was saying, love makes you feel as if your life is perfect. Forget all about the pain. Such beautiful words :) and you did an awesome job explaining your love for this guy!

    All I think about is you and me,
    How happy I am that we are together.
    You mean the world to me,
    I don't think there is a way to show you
    how much you truly mean to me,
    Everything I do, I only think about you.

    ^Awww. So cute! Very cute ending as well. It worked very well with the theme :)

    Overall, you did a fantastic job on this poem. I can tell you really put your heart into it. You are quite talented. 5/5
    Loni

  • 14 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    I thought this poem was just sort of bland. There are a million poems out there just like this, but with some revision i think it could be better. But until then i give it a 4/5