Sometimes

Sometimes I stop to think
How easy it would be
To remove from this world
The essence that is me

Sometimes I hold the knife
So firm against my wrist
Wanting desperately to slice it
To feel the aching bliss

Sometimes while I drive
And watch my speed enhance
I can't help but let it cross my mind
That this could be my chance

Sometimes I think to my father's gun
Knowing where it waits
It sits there taunting me
Daring me to taste

All these contemplations
Hit me every day
The longer I seem to live
The longer they seem to stay

Maybe I'm depressed
Maybe I'm insane
Maybe its a test
Maybe its a game

I try each day to beat it
This desire to be dead
But how exactly do you beat
A simple thought in your head?