When can I have it?

It is so awkward today
everywhere I go, I have nothing to say
all I got is a look from them all
to see is somehow scary and I feel small.

I have no clues what is on their mind
I just keep on pretending I'm blind
what actions to do, I can't decide
all I really feel is despair inside

I realized problems are queuing
and I'm too tired of all day solving
my mind is occupied that I keep on declining
I don't know what I'm doing

If you could see what I see
I want this sadness to flee
otherwise, I need a new environment
where I can have my contentment

there are things I don't want to leave behind
and I say, it is one of a kind
it keeps me from leaving my place
now I wonder, when can I have my peace?