Memory Is Your Image Of Perfection:

by Mimed Lovette   Feb 26, 2010


This was how you lived
in my mind.

A pure seedling of perfection
sowed in my heart's abyss.
You sipped on the thundering rain
clapped by hands of faith.
You fed on the bright sunlight
shining from eyes so gay.

Your wondrous bulb grew
to stunning heights of green.
Yet still you lived inside of me:
your shelter from the storms.
So beautiful and delicate you were;
I burned with every sprout you shot.

Each spurt cost me a tingle;
a golden penny nonetheless.
Each blossom cost me a shiver;
a silver dime, not more.
Each day I fought for space in me
for you to bloom and glow.

But time wrecked havoc, yet
I couldn't wish for it to stop.
You wanted to see a bigger world,
the soil I layed - too old...
You changed for the better
and I stayed no matter.

Caving in, I set you free.
You ruptured hard, struggling to break free.
Were you too jaded, was I too faded,
maybe I couldn't offer the riches you sought.
Now in my core, loneliness
succeeded you as my winning crown.

This was how you died
in my mind.

Note: Thank you Mel for posting this challenge! We all had great fun working on it!
http://pagesofmyphotobook.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/barbara-kruger1.jpg

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Landy;

    First of all I am sorry for taking so long to comment this piece. I have in fact been quite slack with my commenting as of late and I apologise. But.. i'd like to tell you that this poem was very worthy of the win in my challenge and you impressed me muchly. I am glad you had fun writing the poem... You did a wonderful job.. I am also glad this is the poem you are most proud of ;)

    "A pure seedling of perfection
    sowed in my heart's abyss.
    You sipped on the thundering rain"

    I thought the lines above were quite clever. Definitly my favorite part would be sipped on the thundering rain.. I would never of thought of that.. Truely elegant.. The opening and closing of the poem held much strength and that obviously drew the reader in a lot..

    A great metaphor Landy.. & you really worked well with the image you chose to write of. Well done sweets, I am proud of you.

    -Mel

  • 14 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Holy Crap....I don't think I get speechless too often when I read poetry, but your poetry somehow does that to me. I am always left with little to say because I can never get my thoughts together or explain how much I love your work..

    This was amazing!! I ABSOLUTELY loved that it started with "this is how you lived in my mind" and ended with how he died in your mind...I mean this was just amazing..your choice of words was great! I'm ending this comment now or I'll just keep babbling on how much I loved it!
    Keep it up! Your amazing!

  • 14 years ago

    by Faithless

    I'm completely blown away with this piece. I like how you wove the seed as a metaphor into your poem. I also love the way you end it, it's like you just woke up from your daydream, remembering how it all ended.Excellent Job