I try and grasp...

I try and grasp what I can through my limited understanding of truth,
But all that beckons are unanswered questions that roll around in it's youth.
I may never know nor be provided the chance,
To tell you that it's difficult to live each day when you couldn't give me another chance...

I roll around in an empty world that doesn't seem to understand,
That I can't be who I want to be when all I see are broken ends,
Of what we had that lies beneath what we cannot hold,
Can you not see the beauty that shriveled and now cannot unfold.

I held in my heart the hope that one day a person would be true,
To me and to my beliefs and I would not have to grovel and wish for that which to me be due.
Yet as I clutch to the distant dreams that lay pitifully sleeping in tear stained eyes,
I know that everything in life turned out to be complete lies.

I may not want to walk back to the place that I once knew,
The people that held me up when I lay stumbling along paths not only a few.
I may not even want to hold in my life those that claim to care,
I may even disappear into the darkness and vanish forever - i may declare.
That even though in agony I live in every day,
Neither hope shining nor any smiles greeting me today.
I live in fear of a decision I may choose to take,
Just to escape from you and your memories for your silence leaves me burning at the stake.

All I wanted was an answer but you can not even reply.
Was I such a terrible friend - did I never once try???