I wasnt ready this time

I wasnt ready to come home
I tend to rush things
I wanted to feel better
I wanted my life back

Now im home
I cant do this
I dont feel safe
I cant help these feelings

Why did i leave?
I guess it was another quick dission
I didnt think
I wasnt listing

Still I dont want to go back
I want to stay home
I want to give this a try

How do i fight these feelings?
Where do i turn to?
I am scard
I want to commit suicide
Still i hold it inside
I dont want to talk
I dont want to cry

Please just everyone leave me alone!
Im scared