This is actually really well done, but it could be better with a few minor changes. The imagery is fantastic the reader can picture everything as its read. I'd try and change the endings of the 2nd and 3rd stanzas just for the fact you close with the same word.... kind of throws the reader off. I really enjoyed a few lines I thought they were very well done... "Hot and cold: twice the burn" That was clever and also "rough like sandpaper to my heart" I thought that was excellent and anyone whose been in love knows that exactly how it feels....it doesn't kill you it just tortures you to the point you wish you were dead. Amazing job 5/5

Your imagery and wording is beyond me.

"Your lips are candy coated hell,
made with all of the best ingredients.
Sweet and sour at the same time,
hot and cold; twice the burn."

That was my favorite stanza. I wish I could be more critical with this, but I really don't have any. It was a beautiful poem. I can relate to this, and I am pretty much in love with this. I adore this and you.
five outta freaking five.
I'll be sure to keep reading(:

It will take a while to catch my breath. T

The imagery in this poem is very sensual in a purely romantic way
I love it

The mood I got from this was sultry, sexy, and seductive. Not sad at all. I felt like I just got hit upside the head by that's-a-really-sexy-guy stick.

I absolutely adored the contrast you wrote about all through the poem.
sweet-sour
hot-cold
soft-rough
sweet-fatal

I typically don't enjoy reading poems with no rhyme, but i didn't even notice your poem wasn't rhyming until I read it the third time. You sucked me right in from the beginning and spat me back out with a bang at the end.

Some of my favorite lines were:

"rough like sandpaper to my heart."
I loved how you worded that. I was thinking 'hell I should have thought to said that in one of my poems'

"so sweet, you'd never guess it was fatal."
I was rolling around in the sexy man until you said the word fatal. I was like... wait what? what happen to Mr. Yummy? I really liked it though because you can take the word fatal and play with the story.
Fatal... like you fell so hard for him you were left hurt?
Fatal... As in now your trapped with him because he is so addicting?

I lean towards the second thought because that's how I read the poem.. But then I see the genre of the poem being sad. And I lean towards the first thought.

I hope you won the contest because truly enjoyed reading this.

5/5

Nicely done :D i like how you used contrast.

"Sweet and sour at the same time,
hot and cold; twice the burn."

"Soft when gliding across my skin,
rough like sandpaper to my heart."
- i loved these two lines, because it really reflect some guys perfectly!

Loved how you ended this piece, "so sweet, you'd never guess it was fatal" - who would have guessed you would have ended this piece like this ? Not me! ripest raspberries & sweet scent are generally good :P again contrast, loved it!

Wow i loved it it was a very visual poem and the images were amazing!! My favorite part was the begining "your lips are candy coated hell made with all the best ingrediants" it really caught my attention and made me read on cause i understand that and even aside from the visual imagery the sensual contact in the words and their contradictions was very pleasing to me i think you did an amazing job bravo!

I really like this poem. Only the repitition of the word burn seemed to bug me. Granted you typed burn and burning, but with the poem as short as it is, it felt like a red flag. I love the word usage everywhere else though. I also am pleased that you did not rhyme in this poem.
Thanks for the read