My favorite

by Joe Forrest   Jul 17, 2010


Your beautiful as a sunrise
You warm up my everyday
We talk all night
We play all day
Your scared out of your mind
Don't know what to do
Always remember
I'll be there for you
Through the hard times and good
Not matter what I'll be there
I can take you to a place
One far away
We can escape reality
We can escape it all
A place you can speak your mind
A place where opinions are null
You can tell me it all
For you are in awe
Awe that I listen
That I care
Your a awesome person 
No one can take that
Your the one an only my favorite

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  • 13 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    I didn't really feel that much emotion coming through, and I think the flow, at times, was sticky and awkward.

    I think, and you can take this or not, that every line should have a purpose, a reason to be, and not just to rhyme or take up space ( that's not what I'm saying yours does). I think, by doing this, your piece will become much stonger, in power and emotion.

    I do apologise if it seems like I'm being patronising. that's not my intention.

    Brad

    P.S. Please comment and vote on all the poems you read.

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