Facade of Friends

I am tired of the facade
I dont think I can do it anymore
I am tired of the comments
I am tired of the backstabbing
Its getting to the point that I am not sure I can even
Pull the knife out anymore or if I would even want to
Maybe it would just be better to leave it in and live with the agony
Then to pull it out only to have it shoved back in
And then there is the one that is supposed to love me unconditionally
But I have come to realize that that is also a facade
No one can love unconditionally
There is no such thing
So I have come to realize
That the life I have been wanting and thought I could have
Is nothing but a fantasy
An oasis in a long, wide desert
Something that seems so possible yet so unreachable