I can feel the emotions you have put in this poem. Its good to be able to express them in this way, i liked this one a lot it stuck out the most. Keep up the good work xp

Really great poem i agree with STBWXoXo69
5/5

Firstly, to become a better poet I would encourage you to improve your grammar and punctuation, it is a bit childish in this poem. At first I thought you might be aiming for this effect but I wasnt convinced by the end.

That is your best writing so far and would be more satisfying without the easily fixed grammar/punctuation errors.

Keep up the good writing, you show promise.

I looooove all the feeling in your poem. It was really well written, and I really enjoyed readint it ^.^ 5/5

Full of emotion, love it. (: Very well written. Keep it up. 5/5

I feel like this needs to have some type of form... it has a lot of great emotions and questions in it.... but as a reader, i get lost in the paragraph form.

I believe if you break this off into lines, the reader will be able to know when to pause and you would be able to put emphasis on the lines you want to. The way it is, I find myself fighting to continue through it, which is unfortunate because it is a good piece.

I like the emotion here and your use of questioning, but I think you would benefit from using structured stanzas and also proper punctuation i.e capitalization.

I also would try to break away from the use of such basic words and look into using stronger language to express yourself.

Good piece :]

Really great poem

I really liked this, the expression was good

In this poem I can sense the emptiness you feel, and I like the use of questions.
I still think that you told me about how you felt and you didn't show me. You could improve it by describing how you felt, like instead of saying you did so and so, you can describe how you did it, or how you felt during your actions.

This poem was better than the first one I read. The emotions were stronger and more constant throughout the piece. One thing I wantyou to work on is not repeating yourself so much. There is a time when that works and is important for the flow of the piece but in this case you did it and it messed up the flow of the poem. You talked about the darkness in your heart than you say in the next line how you get lost in it. I would just take out the part about the darkness and say it's overwhelming of that it's too much sometimes. Something that differd from what you've already said. Keep working at it. -Nik

Really sad :(
but a great write....... :) i like it

This is great, full of sincerity and feeling. 5/5 well done keep it up! =D

Great poem! nice flow and sticking to it..

I love the emotion that's written in it it's reminds me of one of my poems but i think that u should but some love i guess that's the part where u but "will you be the angel that takes my breath away?" but put more in there i know i could put more but hey that's just me :)

Wow, this is an amazing poem, there is so much emotion in it :D

Wow, good work!

A good write, speaks volumes, there are always people there for you xx 5/5

I love this poem :]

This brought tears to my eyes :") very good..