Comments : Wild Longings

  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    Oh, Nana, I was surfing through the awesome poem list and I didn't see any and then I pushed re-fresh and I found this amazing piece! :] I mean the emotions in this piece come pouring out and I love how you are able to use your emotions as descriptions and your descriptions paint pictures in my mind as I read. The flow was good as was the structure which helped the poem carry itself. The only thing I didn't think I like was the length. I think maybe another verse or something would get me that regular length I'm used to but it could just be me.

    "unbreaking silence,
    my blood viciously calls for
    you in my veins,
    bereft of all words
    fiercely clashing,
    seeking your parched lands"

    This was my favorite stanza and I found it to be so due to the amazing imagery you use in this stanza. your descriptions were wonderful and I liked how you used your wording as it delivered the most affect in the way you have it. Also the flow was so good in this part, I just had to read it a couple of times over.

    All in all, I think you really are growing as a poet and I can't wait to see how far you will progress in your life with your skills. You have some real talent and you seem to be able to control it and use it in your poems to deliver your emotions or message across. So once again great job and I can't wait till your next poem. Great job and keep writing. :]

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Changed the meter XD

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    This is a real easy feeling to relate to, sometimes when you're lonely or do not have the patience, sometimes these "wild longings" do appear, we tend to think of others with stronger feelings because it's more convenient that way I guess, or in your case, they creep up out of nowhere and you don't know what to really do with it or how to handle the situation. You described this in your own unique way, some phrases & words may have seemed a bit awkward but you brought the message through powerfully!

  • 13 years ago

    by E <3

    "Wildly these feelings
    sleep upon this bank,
    creeping in my ears as
    I comb my hair with the
    tenderness I lack"

    ^^^I must tell you, so far, ever single time I read your opening stanza it makes me crave more. It's like a drug. A poetry drug. lol.

    "unbreaking silence, my
    blood viciously calls for
    you in my veins, bereft of
    all words. Fiercely clashing,
    seeking your parched lands"

    ^^^ This is my favorite stanza. It leaves me so speechless. All I keep thinking about is all the same cliche things I always say, but for some reason, none of those words will ever be good enough. This stanza puts me in a strange but pleasing state of mind.

    "albeit I spill like a thirsty
    waterfall, soaking and
    steeping as passions fleet
    to air..."

    ^^^ Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
    What does one say when they have read perfection?
    Cest magnifique!
    I don't speak French. I just thought it would be really cool if I added it in. :D

    "Wild longings twirl to lure
    my patience, and measure
    my despair"

    ^^^This makes me depressed. It's the last stanza. I wish your poems were never ending. lol. But once again, the imagery is outstanding.

    I wanted to read this poem because I saw it on your MSN, the name meaning. I am so glad I decided to read it. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to abide by your comment on at least two poems rule. But I have now come to realize there are so many good poets on this site (You are at the very top of the list :D), I have been missing out by being away for so long, and not commenting or reading. Your way with words is marvelous. Period end of story. I felt like saying this is my favorite stanza to every single stanza you wrote. This is MOST DEFINETLY going in my favorites. :)
    :)
    Keep writing,
    5/5
    Erna

  • 13 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow... this poem is so deep and the words you've used to describe to express this feelings is perfect for the poem.... It was dark yet made me anxious.... Well done!