Kitties World

by celia stock   Mar 2, 2011


When kittens play they bring such cheer,
They throw themselves about - no fear.
So many color combos all different faces,
Stripes, blobs, patches even faint traces;
Long tails, short, fluffy or even none at all.
So lithe as they pop over a six foot wall.
They'd rather use the neighbour's yard
And tease the dog that's standing guard
Then parade back home with tail held high
And a smug look to catch your eye.
When all is said n done, all the halls are run,
It's hard to forget the wonderful fun.
Even an expensive bed of scented phlox,
Wont lure them away from an old cardboard box.

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    This piece was enjoyable and laid-back, which is what you want in this section. I think it that some of the lines didn't flow as well as others, like 'Stripes, blobs and patches, even faint traces'. Maybe the lost of the word 'and' would help (not telling you what to do. I'm merely suggesting).

    There were other lines that just didn't seem quite right, like 'That smug look, yea what a good kit am I'. Something about it didn't seem comfortable.

    The piece started off nice and strong, with a simple, but laid-back couplet, with a good rhythm.

    Looking at the rhymes alone, they all fit wonderfully, like pieces of a puzzle. Once again, simple, but effective.

    I must say, there was one line I didn't like in particular - 'You know you'll never forget the fun'. It just felt very plain and basic, with not much thought.

    And you ended the piece on a strong note. The last two couplets were, I think, my favourite, with great wording and a steady flow. It had a certain cheeky charm to it. A good close.

    Brad

    P.S. Please comment and vote HONESTLY on every poem you read.

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