Comments : Uninvited.

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    This is very sad, and I think I know where you come from..
    Amazingly worded, I prefer all your poems that have meaning more than solid metaphors, and tthis was one of them, I love emotional pieces, and although you dont show your feelings here word-by-word; BUT

    you reflected them by your own way, and this was seriously sad, and shows how fed up yet how hurt you are to admit how everything you hold and do, came without an opened invitation but by your opened heart..

    well done, and this

    Fact or myth -
    you forever paralyze me
    with webs thick of silk.

    ^^
    was really good

    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Chelsey

    I honestly can't think of anything to say for this poem! Because I just LOVED IT

    I cringe,
    choking 'til reflexes
    force your foul stench
    to waver upon my breath;
    an aftertaste of
    your existence.

    Fact or myth -
    you forever paralyze me
    with webs thick of silk.

    ^ This was absolutely amazing! I can just go on and on about how much I loved it , but I'll leave it at that. EXCELLENT stanza!

    I wouldn't change on thing in this piece! nicely done!

  • 13 years ago

    by Chelsey

    I honestly can't think of anything to say for this poem! Because I just LOVED IT

    I cringe,
    choking 'til reflexes
    force your foul stench
    to waver upon my breath;
    an aftertaste of
    your existence.

    Fact or myth -
    you forever paralyze me
    with webs thick of silk.

    ^ This was absolutely amazing! I can just go on and on about how much I loved it , but I'll leave it at that. EXCELLENT stanza!

    I wouldn't change on thing in this piece! nicely done!

  • 13 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Temps,

    I loved this. I am so impressed by your style as of late. Your work has envolved a lot and it's beautiful. I find your writing to be so much more creative now, wool-like limbs? how interesting.

    Everything about this poem held my attention, the structure was great, I love that you are able to now write short poems that have such a punch with your words. Lately I've found nothing to critique in your work, honestly it's such a pleasure to read your poems. I liked your writing before but now I adore it.

    A lovely poem with creative metaphors.

    -Mel.