Comments : Perception

  • 13 years ago

    by Acoustic Odyssey

    Started with a bang, and ended with a boom. Why people like games with other peoples hearts I know not. Your metaphors were spot on once again. I missed the days when you could just give someone a compliment, just to be nice. Now you have to watch out. Another brilliant piece!
    Take care

  • 13 years ago

    by ECILA ice

    I haven't read such poem describing love with menu or deserts..uncommon that caught my enthusiasm..cute,simple but direct.

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Haha lol.. well i certainly don't mean cupcakes or sweetened milk.. not waiter as a real job ..
    but guess u gotta get wat i mean by all the sweet coated words we hear XD

  • 13 years ago

    by Britt

    What an interesting piece and very thought provoking. I love the metaphors here and think they really have a huge 'wow' factor. It was clever and unlike anything I've ever seen.

    The very beginning threw me off a bit. I would put an "is" after "my heart", saying my heart is not so stupid, rather than "my heart not so stupid". Sounds like it's missing a beat in meter there. :)

    I love your third stanza, regarding burning sweets and serving plates at their own expense - brilliant way of wording your thoughts and feelings, as though you are capable of taking care of yourself. That you'd rather have a meal (something hearty and real) rather than a dessert, full of sweetness but can leave you sick or with pain. Thats how I related to this poem, anyway :) Either way it was beautifully penned, absolutely loved it!