Comments : My Necklace

  • 12 years ago

    by White Orchid

    Wow!! This is a really dark poem, but it is so well written. Every line I can feel the pain of the person,and the third stanza was when the poem just became so powerful, how you used the term "My Necklace" and turned it into something dark was wonderful. But this poem was really dark, so I hope you are doing okay!! :) Very nice write.

  • 12 years ago

    by Jad

    I also agree that there are a lot of metaphors that you can grasp in this poem and the emotions in this poem are very sad and carry from line to line. The poems flow was good but I think the rhyming you tried to put into the poem messed it up as it seems forced and takes away from what you could have said better. The poem is still a joy to read though and you are very good about getting your emotions out, which is the main thing we try to do with poetry. The poem followed with its structure all the way through and it was well written.

    In all, I am impressed with the emotional level of this poem and you seem to be able to convey your feelings well. I hope that you will try and look on the brighter side of life though as there is a lot more to enjoy and appreciate. Keeping this necklace on will only harden you and make you extremely depressed which can lead to other symptoms. Then again you could just be using hard pressed metaphors so who knows! :P Great job and keep writing!

  • 12 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    It is like holding onto this thing called sadness
    which in fact gives comfort in some way..maybe letting it go might bring some deep emptiness..this is the picture I got and it soooo very sad and painful to read..another heart rendering write..take care.

  • 12 years ago

    by Milo

    A very vivid and dark poem.

  • 12 years ago

    by Love Panda

    Thanks for the link, a depressing but beautiful read. Reading this made me think of a song by Anna Nalick - Just breathe.

    Quite funny in a non funny way if you think about it - since you say you don't want to breathe (or words to that effect). Yin & Yang!?

    Back to the poem - short and sweet (sweet as can be for a dark poem). Just the right length, i loved the structure you had going and even the rhyme scheme. Writing about one thing but changing the words and still having that strong bond and meaning was very effective. It's letting the reader imagine what exactly is around your neck when you read the name name "necklace".

    Very well written indeed, whether it be from real life experience or not. Good job Ben