My dark and shattered soul

by irigan   Jul 1, 2011


Dear heart what is this I feel is it pain of the thorns of love for the first time in my life I bleed and I don’t know where I am or what I am to do?

Am I to let the roses of love engulf my soul so tatted and torn with the darkness that I have built how is it possible that some one of such beauty could do such a thing like this oh my dear heart broken and dark in my soul I feel this pain of love and I fall for in this darkness I now see a bright and burning light like a flame on the buildings of a home to the ones of old where do I go what do I do?

So am I to go one in this world watching all the people around me being happy or am I to die with love in my heart and pain as I so see my friends and family with the roses of my heart growing strong as the thorns rip me apart ?

So tell me my dear heart am I to be alone or will she find me in this mass of thorns and bring my dark and shattered soul back to the rose that once was my heart.

Am I that different to everyone else if I ask this question
to myself am I to be judged? By the ones that know me not or there for the ones that love me what am I to do?
Do I end it all or do I carry on letting it happen oh my love will you help me from my knees will you tend to my roses and make the thorns not shred my soul anymore this is my question to you in the end this is all I need all I want !

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  • 14 years ago

    by Natalie

    A couple of things stood out for me with this poem.

    Firstly I loved that it was in a letter format. That just caught my attention.

    Secondly, I absolutely LOVED that the letter was addressed to your heart. Extremely original!

    Thirdly the poem was very dark. I like dark, sad poems that deal with emotion.

    "roses of my heart growing strong as the thorns rip me apart "

    5/5 from me for just this line alone!! You create an extremely vivid picture with this imagery that it made me have to pause and re-read it again! I honestly think this line itself is enough to base another poem on!!

    Finally, the only negative thing which I feel lets your poem down is the punctuation. You need a few more commas and full stops in there because it really distracts the reader. You dont need to take my advice, of course, but I really believe that it would do wonders for your poem!

    Nonetheless, a great read!