Comments : Unsaid complains

  • 7 years ago

    by Meme

    Very sad, but so nice and amazing. The feelings are so real and sincere. Nice come back Hassan :)

  • 7 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    Hassan, the third stanza was really heartfelt:) I will leave a long comment later on, I just wanted you to know that I loved it!

  • 7 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I have no complaints on this well written poem which reflects well that our joy is often drawn from the same well that hol.ds our sorrow

  • 7 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    - do not capitalize the first letter in each line.
    - some commas aren't needed, like:

    "She never noticed what was in my eyes,
    Only wanted to say me bundle of goodbyes."

    ^^^
    before "my eyes"

    - I have a minor suggestion, here:

    Making smiles and concentrating on someone,
    She knew very well how to make that fun.
    ^^^
    I would say:
    "Making smiles, concentrating on someone,
    who knew very well how to make that fun"

    Things not happened as I wanted to see,
    Like always she made sadness for me.
    ^^^

    I would say:
    "as I wanted it to be"
    :)
    :)

    but this was very heartfelt! :) fivvve

  • 7 years ago

    by Deana

    I love the feeling of sweet melancholy that this write invokes. The English may not be perfect, but the emotion is! Well done.

  • 7 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    A few minor mistakes but an awesome write. You pulled the reader into your emotional state with words of sadness.
    Connie

  • 7 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Wow. Everything has already been said. Great job.

  • 7 years ago

    by Ms Happiness

    I love this poem:) really great 5/5:)

  • 7 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    Good piece...very well-written", keep writing:=)