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Very sad, but so nice and amazing. The feelings are so real and sincere. Nice come back Hassan :)
Hassan, the third stanza was really heartfelt:) I will leave a long comment later on, I just wanted you to know that I loved it!
by Michael D Nalley
I have no complaints on this well written poem which reflects well that our joy is often drawn from the same well that hol.ds our sorrow
- do not capitalize the first letter in each line.
- some commas aren't needed, like:
"She never noticed what was in my eyes,
Only wanted to say me bundle of goodbyes."
before "my eyes"
- I have a minor suggestion, here:
Making smiles and concentrating on someone,
She knew very well how to make that fun.
I would say:
"Making smiles, concentrating on someone,
who knew very well how to make that fun"Things not happened as I wanted to see,
Like always she made sadness for me.
I would say:
"as I wanted it to be"
but this was very heartfelt! :) fivvve
I love the feeling of sweet melancholy that this write invokes. The English may not be perfect, but the emotion is! Well done.
A few minor mistakes but an awesome write. You pulled the reader into your emotional state with words of sadness.
Wow. Everything has already been said. Great job.
by Ms Happiness
I love this poem:) really great 5/5:)
by Yrem Crish
Good piece...very well-written", keep writing:=)