When I Liked You

She was touching me.
Feeling me.
Breathing me.
Kissing me.
All around me.
Surrounding me.
Then I woke up.
San Diego birthed me.
But Fresno is making me.
The waves remind me of what was familiar
At one time.
Little Italy.
Del Mar.
Family.
Old friends.
Everyone has to grow up one day.
I suffer from an incurable disease-
Optimism.
But it failed me as my father-
Once the strongest man in the world-
Sat by me
Crying because my mom filed for divorce.
He left without saying goodbye.
I have many fears.
As does everyone.
I fear abandonment most of all.
Abandonment and I know each other well, unfortunately.
My dad was not there to protect me when I was a child-
...When my innocence was taken from me.
But life happens.
Saying goodbye is difficult.
Leaving home.
Getting on a train.
Almost made me cry.
My dark thoughts took hold of me.
Such a pretty gal...
But so...
Consumed.
Crazy even.
No wit in this one.
As I sink and I fade...
You're there.
Slowly becoming a part of my life.
You confuse me.
One minute you're warm.
The next you're freezing.
Freezing until...
There's a little flirt.
A little wishing.
Wishing you were there with me.
In San Diego.
A breakthrough.
As I made dinner for my mom
And pour glasses of wine.
As I ride horses with old friends.
Through old trails.
As I walk along the beach.
And pick up a shell for you
So you can have a little piece of San Diego
A little piece of me.
You allow Adele to show me what you feel.
She sings,
"My One and Only."
I don't know what you mean.
I don't ask.
After sitting on the edge of my seat.
You say it.
You say it!
After so much wondering, my patience became a virtue-
"I like you."