Runaway

by Renegade Angel   Aug 13, 2011


I try to taste the bit of freedom I am offered.
I wish to know enchantment and joy, so that these chains would shatter away.

This freedom gives me immortality, and a that one chance to unlock the door to freedom.

I won't look back with gentle tears streaming down my face, I will not stop and look at the disaster I left.

I can oly run with laughter and a vampire grin. knowing these memories ahead won't fade.

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  • 12 years ago

    by Sparkling snow flake

    Great write :)
    I like the way you have structured this poem :)

    I really like this part...
    "I won't look back with gentle tears streaming down my face, I will not stop and look at the disaster I left."

    In terms of fixing the poem...
    "I can oly run with laughter"
    oly to only
    "and a that one chance"
    I dont think you intended an "a"

    Apart from that I found this poem a really good write!
    im giving it a 5/5