Tough week its been. A year since my best friend passed away.
Still struggling to find a new job. Wish I was doing okay.
No one to vent to. No one that's here.
No one even cares. No one that's near.
I thought it was a bad week, but it only got worse.
What am I living in... a life with a curse?
Got yelled at again.... so I cleaned my room out of anger
I went through my closet. Found a card from a stranger.
It was from my ex.... A valentines day card.
Who would have ever thought. Letting go would be so hard.
I couldn't help it.... had to read what it said
The card was huge... covered a quarter of my bed.
I read and I read, my eyes had to see
Barely a quarter of the way through, and my tears were set free.
After so long of holding it in. It was just so hard
Over a million teardrops falling on this card.
Memories oh memories. A million questions in my head.
Why did it have to be me. It couldn't be someone else instead.
So I cried and I cried. Reminiscing on the times
When every time I told her I loved her, was the only time I'd rhyme.
Everyone sees this hard shell. That I feel a lot better
I act like I'm okay. Put my toughness front and centered.
But inside this hard shell. Is a kid that's still hurt
It's like everything reminds me of her, everything gets worse.
So I took anything and everything, that reminded me of our memories
I couldn't let it happen. Couldn't let her get the best of me.
So I set everything on fire. Letting our memories Fade.
It hurt to watch it all burn.... But maybe then I'll be okay.
I want nothing else to do with her. Nothing else at all.
But why am I still crying.... I'm supposed to stand tall.
So I let it catch on fire, it's like it slowed time.
But while it all happened, I thought of a rhyme.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Here it all burns, the memories of us.
-J.D. Nguyen
Days just seem to get harder. But I'll get through. I don't need anyone. Anything. But myself. I don't want to remember. You did the impossible. You made me believe in forever. But never again. I will never drop my guard.... ever again.
