Deep Thought

by AllisLost   Aug 26, 2011


As I sit on my bed,
It feels as though I'm already dead,
As I sit there awake,
My dark shuddering thoughts make me quake,
I sit there thinking that no one cares,
Everyone just stands there and stares,
My one and only thought is with a gun,
One pull on the trigger and it's all done,
No one tried to stop me,
They didn't care and let me be,
Now the only decision left is to live or die,
I look back and ask myself why,
I realize that the choice I make will be my last,
Everything now is done and in the past,
Soon it is all said and done,
My life ended with a gun.

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  • 12 years ago

    by Lofallenve

    Very powerful poem you have here. I can relate to this right now. It might not be a gun but addictions and other ways to chase the horrid thoughts away.
    I do hope you do not pull the trigger. I know you can be strong. <3

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    "As I sit on my bed,
    It feels as though I'm already dead,"
    I love these lines as the start. Creates a dark atmosphere.

    "As I sit there awake,
    My dark shuddering thoughts make me quake,"
    This is my favorite part. I love how you connected your thought to your action. Creative.

    "I sit there thinking that no one cares,
    Everyone just stands there and stares,"
    This is really sad..

    "My one and only thought is with a gun,
    One pull on the trigger and it's all done,"
    I hope you don't really pull the trigger..

    I like the ending. Really powerful. Hope all is well with you. You've got a really great talent and we don't want to see it wasted/lost. Take care and keep writing :) 5/5

    -X

  • 12 years ago

    by AllisLost

    Thank you... but whats sadder is this is all i think about...

  • 12 years ago

    by LOvEiSNotFoREvER

    Sad..but every word holds a meaning
    i can see everything happening
    great discriptive words
    loved it
    5/5

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