Something I can relate to, does this poem speak of bidding farewell and break-ups? if so, then I got it. There are some touchy lines and original expressions.
I loved the flow, your new style is getting much better, sweetheart. Keep writing like this :)
Though, I found some cliches, especially in the first and forth stanzas, perhaps, you can manage to replace them with your original thoughts. Nevertheless, I can't say anything about the flow, for it was soft and it didn't break, at all, in no place, actually. And the emotions as well were something praiseworthy. :)
"Now I have to accompany
myself on the piano,
playing your composition."
-This is what I found much enjoyable in this write, I think this is really full of feelings. I felt someone 'denying' a farewell, as if it's not going to happen, and it just was beautifully sad.
The ending was emotional as well, and the word choice was somehow clever and it all worked together. Good write, hope to read from you more soon. :)
8 years ago
Jenni. Jenni. Dear Jenni..
YOUR COMPOSITION is composed flawlessly.
I can't find words to comment.
I hope this could win!!! :)
You really moved me with this sad write..
Your writing is so eloquent and it genuinely moves me...this delicate character who is remembering her love, it was breathtaking when you described how she doesn't sing, because his composition is the only thing glorious enough. The emotion is so honest- I can feel the sorrow and the spirit of him that is living through this strong woman....there are no lies in this piece- because you devote yourself to your words and offer them as only a walk with the truth that this character is feeling in their heart....