Behind me there is darkness which means I stand far from where I come from and in front of me there is light which means I stand close to where I am to; still stuck in this big ball of mass confusion I am here but I see; there comes a new dawn the birth of the child angel, prophecies of the nearer future but still I cannot enjoy my freedom. My mouth is bitter with the taste of betrayal. My thoughts are sickened by thoughts that linger at the back of my head. At times I wish for death but get scared because I cannot find my true reason to die. I prolong a painful heartbeat and inhale suffocatious doubts as to live is to die and all the time I ask myself why me Lord; do I lie to myself too much; do I promise myself what I cannot be having, do dreams ever come true or do dreams remain in dreamland? I feel no success in me only agony of betrayal I feel, now tell me how deep is my sorrow that my tears cannot fill; because it has been many years crying and how much more pain do I have to endure, feast on because now I am becoming addicted to misery. Pain to death on this savage earth but my soul would not be left to rest, but God knows all my flaws maybe that is why He keeps some doors locked at me. This is not how I ever imagined life would be; all that used to glitter has faded with the rising and falling of the sun. The world loathes upon me and has stuck me on its gunk. All my tries are unsuccessful; I am always unhappy because I have only heard of true love and all I have been having is pure deceit. I feel lone and the world becoming dark and against me. All my dreams remain as my lavish life upon which has just turned into a living hell that makes me not want to sleep because I feel bewitched not to dream. I close my eyes and imagine how I wish things could be and that is the only place I feel free and become who I truly am. Breathing is torturous for me; I feel like my blood has turned viscous, stuck in my veins and my brain is suffocating from these virulent thoughts that unkempticise my virtue of being human. Infinite sorrow; will I ever be penitential, spiritually penurious but religiously pensive how can I be passive but yet so mendacious? I am observed as an alcoholic but truth is I am melancholic; I saw what was not for me to see now my vision is blurred, my flesh perishes as these fortuitous evil-indoctrinating well looking parasites suck my body dry. But now as am about to die I get this virtual thought of me; a successor of my own superego, the sun no longer shinning in my eyes but yet I see the light. I hold by hand the person next to me and I say, please set me; in a very low voice they reply, I cant,I love you. These are the words that brought me back to life of what was once upon a time a dream that I wake up to live every day.
