Strength

I'll give you 5/5 for the sincerity in your piece. You really communicated your heart and there is no missing out on that. Well done.

Sure you can make this stronger and even consequent works. Two things I would suggest that you work on to make upcoming pieces even more stronger are:

1. Do not try to force a rhyme into lines. For example: "wear my wound with pride that doesn't bother me one bit." Although your connections and the points you were trying to make was clear and straightforward, but the rhyme was forced in. The length could be reduced in order to make it concise, now concision makes piece exciting to read and the presentation of your work neat.

2. This is not really a big deal, but it would make your work uniform and also help it have a stronger presentation when you start with rhyme and you end it with rhyme. I love rhymes! Check out my pieces. Well, in the second to the last line, your rhyme was tampered with. Now I am not you and you're not me, but if I were you I'd end this poem like this:

"I can fake a smile when we're alone,
But when your heart's already gone
I can't play your game without a frown,
And I can't let you hold my hand down."

To me that neatens the presentation and makes the piece concise.

I hope you find this helpful. I can't wait to read more from you. ;)

I love reading poems that describe how I feel at times. Amazing job.