Today & Tomorrow

But, Thanks Allot :3

Thanks Allot for the Advice and I really appreciate the fact that you liked the poem .. The poem is old-ish even though I'm quite new in poetry but i already tried once earlier this year and that was one of my "experiences" with it..
Is not my best but it was the only way i could show what i was feeling at that moment..

Holy!

The repetition of "when it was only us"
added an emphasis to your poem.
I didn't find it annoying and you created a good piece.

But the repetition of " Now that there's others"
It kind of threw me off. I think if you leave two sentence and make a separate stanza it will sound better. but that's just my opinion.

Here is how i picture it:

When it was only us
We were friends.

When It was only us
Our friendship would never end.

When It was only us
We would never be apart.

When It was only us.
Everything we said came from the heart.

But Now that there are others
We simply broke apart
Nothing comes from the heart
and you failed to understand

when it was only us
everything was fine
but now that there are others
our friendship is force to end.

I like your piece and the emotions in it. very good.

Thank You very much for the comment and advice <3

A nice sweet poem. I might consider using "another" as opposed to "other" but that is just my opinion. otherwise good flow and structure to your poem.