Letting You Go

I can hear these blackbirds singing in my mind,
As I walk along the darkened sidewalk,
The part of town where one doesn't want to be alone;
But it is place that I need to travel,
the place I need to be,
Because I know this is where you had tread before,
I did not mean to find my way to where you had been,
I had just been out to ease my mind on this worried night,
I had left where I had been staying, traveling this route like the blind,
Seeing every twist, every curve, but never quite understanding.
Neon lights, the false spotlight of the stars in the night,
Dimly glow, barely lighting up a path that I could walk down.
I stand outside these double doors; they stare down at me,
Daring me to push them open and enter where you had been.
My hands are aquiver, from the cold or from being uncontrollably nervous,
Because I know it is the memory of you
that will haunt me inside,
My mind is screaming, as loud as the black birds,
That you crazy, you silly, you little fool of a girl,
He is long gone by now,
forever away from where you could go.
Still I let my hands grasp the golden handles,
Allowing the cold to seep into my bones and numb my hand.
I still haven't got the courage to pull open those doors,
And I don't think
I ever will build it up high enough either.
I let my hand fall, giving up and walking away,
Taking the same path you had,
when you'd come stumbling out,
Your laughter ringing over the brick buildings,
Your movements so sluggish, yet all over the place,
You'd stop to crouch over a trash can
to let up what you had eaten.
That time is long gone by now,
never to be found again.
The only place that it will ever be revived
is in the back of my mind.
And if we were to ever meet again,
the place that it will be, is my dreams.