The Real Me (edited)

A battle with life,
a fight she cannot win
no matter how strong she is
she knows she'll give in

She sits with a smile spread across
she smiles as she breathes deep inside
she smiles as she closes her eyes
and smiles for an entity inside

She smiles like she means it,
but her smile is fake
each night that she goes to sleep,
hoping she doesn't awake

She doesn't know how she does it
yet each day she makes it through
wishing she could turn back in time,
wishing she could start new

each day it hurts a little more,
yet she cannot seem to share
just how she is really feeling,
she fears no one will care

she waits, frozen in
with dreams shredded apart
with her heart sheathed in a tomb
and a smile to hide her desire emotions

she thinks so badly of it
but doesn't show she feels
she's scared if she says it aloud,
that the pain will become too real

each day is her own battle,
each day she goes through hell
on her face is a painted smile
but inside she is not well

she doesn't want to be like this,
she desperately wants you to see
she just wants to smile -
be truly and as happy as can be

at last, the sky is everlasting gloom
as the chilling breeze
crawl into her bones, yet
she smiles silently frozen and empty inside