Shifting

Sometimes it feels like this skin isn't mine
It's too soft
Too vulnerable
Almost alien

It is somewhat intoxicating
New
But the old still lingers
Hungry, angry

Balance, some days
Seems impossible
Or maybe even is
But I try

I try to love this person I don't know
That I am unsure of
Because her smile reassures me
And happiness has finally started living in her eyes again

I try to keep her from the edge
Thoughts of self destruction
The thick skin that felt so familiar
The sadness that lived in her eyes

Comfort in the pain she knew
It was easy to just disappear
Sink into the darkness
Drunk on the melancholy wine that is easily squeezed from life

Maybe then, that was necessary
Maybe I'll grow to like this new skin
Maybe I'll learn to trust it
But I'll still be hungry
But maybe not so angry