Dancing With Death

Very good, hectic pace that drives the reader along on a rollercoaster ride. Dark and rich in imagery. Well done and all the best,
Ben

Very well written. It's amazing

My hurt burns to ashes
Blowing away with the cold winter night
leaving me empty and hallow
a hole placed deep within my chest

^^ nice imagery here and a really great, captivating start to the poem. I particularly like how you have writteb your 'hurt burns to ashes' - many would have written 'heart' for it is the place of our emotions - so a nice unique spin. Just one minor thing - 'hallow' should be 'hollow' I believe.

My body turns cold and lifeless
Stiff, broken and bruised
My eyes glass over
Fear was the last I saw reaping back
and I, finally finally found peace

^^ again great imagery, its quite clear though you havent gone into too much detail about it which is good. Also the poem just increased in intensity within these lines. A gradual, though well paced, build up. 'finally, finally found peace' - great use of repetition! It has worked to your advantage here.

Dancing with death
With broken records clashing
And I'll keep dancing

^^ again strong imagery - I tend to picture a Woman dancing with a black cloaked figure in some rundown, yet somehow still majestic room... 'broken records clashing' - it just adds to the feel of the poem in whole. Nicely worded!

Death will keep the rhythm
We will tap our toes together
Twirl around in circles

^^ again the dancing image - its quite pronounced within my mind now having been built from the beginning. Well done!

With death
The one we feared the most
Can dance the tango
And the tango, we will dance

^^ 'the one we feared the most' - this statemebt rings true. People tend to be afraid of death because of its factor of unknown. I love how you have chosen to word this - its quite unique - 'dance the tango' instead of 'dance with death'...

Overall, this piece is quite astounding! Its kind of dark and sad at the same time - I bet it was difficult to decide where to place it under on the site! - and you have used such stunning, clear imagery that really draws the reader in - makes the reAder feel as though they have lapsed into a new eerie world. Also the flow and pace of the poem were perfect. Five stars!

As always ash, your poetry is amazing.

I really like ur context in this poem, it has a deeper meaning if you think about it. love it :)