Suicidal Cross Roads

I used to think
that there was hope for me.
A false pretense i hung onto
but, now I see that there is more
to this world that I can not even begin to comprehend it.

I have made mistakes
that led me to where i am now.
A fork in the road,
I am at the cross roads of my life.

Two ways out and I study them both.
I could take a left and continue on
in misery and failure.
Living on the consequences of my past choices.

Or I could go right.
Where the path ends quickly
and I will be gone for ever.
It is an easy way out,
an option that sounds
better than any other.

I stand here alone to ponder,
My friends are all gone. They did not get lost along the way and are on the road to success. I am happy that they are not
as lost as I am.

There is no way out now. One too many wrong turns and I am where I belong.
I could live with my actions and life will be hard.
Or I could end this all now.

A tough choice indeed.
I close my eyes and am welcomed by the warmth of tears.

My mind is now made.
I breathe out
and head to the right.

I do not wish to continue on this journey.
I can not handle the pain of constant failure and stress.

This world is a mess,
and I am one too.