Broken Heart

It was good i enjoyed it

I feel chills,
Straight to the bone.
I feel dead,
And still as stone.

^A great way to pull the audience in from the very start.

At home you can hear me,
Always crying.
And to the world,
I'm always lying.

This gives us insight as to who you are and how this piece will go.

I have lost trust,
in every human being.
because you didn't like,
what you were seeing.

^ so passionate, yet so simple its great

You knew my hurts,
And you knew my pains.
You knew my losses,
And my very few gains.

^this introduces you as the or a victim and someone else as your personal antagonist

You knew the state,
That I was in.
And acted as if,
My living was a sin.

^cruel insight to the antagonist

Now when it comes to my feelings,
I've no one to confide.
And my happiness comes,
And goes like the tide.

^ so descriptive however its painful to read

You put me down,
Frequently.
You broke me down,
Completely.

^ heartrending, blunt, and powerful all at once

Now listen,
To the sound.
Of a life,
That's breaking down.

^ again painful to read and so descriptive

Ever so slowly,
Falling apart.
What's not easily mended,
Is a broken heart.

^^ A perfect ending.

This piece is longer than most typically ten to like but I love it. The flow is so smooth, the rhymes are subtle, and the words are simple yet so meaningful. I mean this really is terrific, and relatable to a lot of people. Extraordinary job. 5/5

Sad but very beautiful

Loved this! Very descriptive and heartfelt. I could feel the pain. Very intense.

Awwwwwaahh I really loved it...
I love how ur poems rhyme

Great poem sweetie<33
5/5