To die... It is no longer clear to me when I begin to want to kill him. My intentions are suicidal rather than murderous, forgive me if I have caused you confusion. "I" and "He" are identical, split apart only by having to survive... for want a better verb..." to die". Death becomes second nature to him, but he lacked the strength or tenacity to die. It was at times like this that I had to help him. ((slides colt python .357 Magnum caliber across the table to aide him))
