Sadness, a daily struggle, living in agony
hoping for a brighter future to come

I like it, your poem

It truly amazing darl :)

love it babe 5/5 for sure!

To die in love for someone is not the big thing...
To live in pain with smile forever is the achievement..."

OMG i love this i an relate. its so heart felt. I love it 50000/50000 :)

First stanza: Ill should be I'll.

Third stanza: Peoples should be People's.

"Never freedom" This would read and make beter sense if it read
"never free"
or "never in reach of freedom."
or "never having met freedom's purity."

My suggestion besides looking back over the grammar would be to just add more structure. You had some heartbreaking thoughts but I thought you could really add your own unique voice. Make it stand out, make it more vivid. Not saying you have to write more or write less or add more adjectives or less, just read it some more and in my honest opinion I believe it could improve. You have some very deep emotions forming, but they don't seem to reach the reader's heart as deeply as they could, why are you in pain? Is there a person you dream of that has made you this way?

Thanks for sharing and take care

So deep sadness. Pains and joys are part of life, they might be too much pain and less joy but.. move on.. there will be an end.. :)

Let me tell u somethin, the pain ur living in, there is always someone who lived more than it. So u must think of those ppl to help u stay optimistuc:)

Awsome poem:)

Very sad and emotional. Keep writing.

This was really different, unique way of writing indeed & it was indeed full of sadness.

all the best and take care

The flow was so awesome until the last part why did you change it, it was going along so smoothly and then the last part came. it was like you were trying to get fancy. don't do that keep it simple like a john lennon song. remember this is only one opiion don't let me change anything you think is right or better im just talking about me.but ni hope i can be honest and help you in the end. i have change some things about my poems and i also said bite me i like it so you do whAT you like but i still think something happen that change this poem at the end

A very sad poem yet very emotional good job girl :)

This is tragically beautiful. Great job.

5/5 :)

A very inclusive poem, but i feel it needs something to round it off not quite sure what. other than that its captivated to the readers thoughts :)

5/5

It's beautiful... so is pain
I love it 5/5

-X