Ilike it grl! :) it has imagery and emotion not to mention a rythem! very nice u get a 5/5 from me! :)

This poem touch me like a cold water drop...
but very nice!!!
I loved your lines!Well written!

Steven

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I love dark poetry but the imagery and rhythm are sometimes there and sometimes not.

"The rain is cold as ice.
But I don't care, it numbs the slice
that it cut deep into my arm
and the blood, it did swarm. "

This was my favorite stanza. It starts off strong and continues through, but the last line feels very forced and the rhyme isn't quite there.

If anything, your voice is very clear here, and the direction as well. The story definitely flows, and I think your talent shows as well. Keep writing!

Nice, but the emotions are more powerful then the words. I find this to be true in my past work too, but I find over time that unbounding myself from ryhming helped me along the path. Cheers

"This rain is mimicking
my tears that are falling.
I'm left with deadly thoughtts
all because someone cared not. "

Had to be my favorite stanza. I like how you worded the rain as mimicking your tears. Perfect way to word it.
Your imagery in this poem is awesome, and the story sad. :( I hope you don't still feel this way.