Somebody Help Me

I don't understand it,
The day is so great.
But when the sun turns off,
My whole world turns gray.

I miss those days,
When school was good.
My friends stood by my side,
They all understood.

It's not fair now,
I can't ask them to understand.
How could I?
When not even I can.

Writing seems much harder,
Feelings don't come like they did before.
Like I can't say or write them,
Like I'm fighting a feeling war.

How do I tell the people I love,
Exactly how I feel?
Those feelings are hidden,
I guess I'm not supposed to reveal.

School seems so hard,
The people I love seem so far.
I see my old friends,
Yet I don't know who they are...

At night I can't sleep,
I stay up and cry.
It's now eleven o'clock,
Yet my tears are not dry.

I don't know what to do,
To bring my smiles back.
I remember when I last cried,
But my smiles, I've lost track.

I'm trying to tell my feelings,
Although I'm not sure what they are.
Somebody help me,
Why do my feelings seem so far?