Comments : Abandoned

  • 7 years ago

    by Meme

    Yuuuuup, thats exactly how I feel right now. As if you read my mind, Liz.

    But you never know, sometimes inspirations comes out from nowwhere.

    Just hang in there my fellow poetess, we all go throught those times.

  • 7 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Hitting rock bottom, you can't go no
    deeper, just rising from above.
    Driven by motivation, yet it's all gone
    it will come back
    I can relate so well to your poem

    I hope I did not misunderstood

  • 7 years ago

    by L

    Inspiration.. might seem to have left us.. but actually, it has to do by how busy your life is.

    If you have free time then inspiration is happy to come and hang out, if you are busy, then inspiration doesn't want to disturb... and it just goes and finds someone to hang out until you are free. See this piece tells me that inspiration is knocking at your door..

  • 7 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    This is proof that inspiration is everywhere...
    in this piece I see myself at times

    but you know when you write, I am blown away, inspired by lacking inspiration, creates a poem so very good


  • 7 years ago

    by Karla

    Liz, I don't know what left you but I hope it comes back soon. Beautiful piece.

  • 7 years ago

    by L

    Oops, i think you were talking about motivation rather than inspiration, so my above comment is unnecessary.

    Well, I have felt like this before but a long the way, I keep finding motivations. It turns out they are hidden everywhere and they are just waiting to be find.. but if we are lazy(I need a better word for lazy) and we don't look around and be open to what it's important and to what we want then it's possible we won't find it. I hope once again that my rambling makes sense.

  • 7 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I can feel the sadness and emotion in each word... can relate to this so much. 5/5

  • 7 years ago

    by Jenni

    Hmm, Liz Liz Liz, I feel you.

    The title already showed that this poem wouldn't be positive whatsoever, at least to me I can't think of anything positive when reading "Abandoned". Quite grateful for that hint of it being sad because this is one of the poems that one has to be slightly prepared for before reading, otherwise it'll be really tough on you.

    Usually I would have guessed that you revealing who/what you're directing this to would decrease my interest, but the opposite was the case, probably because it's not the most common thing to dedicate a poem to ones missing motivation and well, I tend to lack motivation to, so I knew this would be quite relateable.

    The first stanza flowed really well, it's because of your choice of words, that caused for it to flow so well and because of the little rhyme.

    The whole poem is somewhat depressing because I can really see how much it bothers you and I thought that it might be about more than just lack of motivation, it feels way deeper than that. Maybe I just did not experience it being able to be that tough on you.

    Good poem and hope you'll find it again.

  • 7 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Firstly, thank you for your comment on my poem, hope you all the best with what you are going through :)
    I have to agree with Jenni. Upon reading the title, my first thought was that this would be about someone leaving you, instead of 'something'. However, that was not the case and this is rather unique and new to me. Motivation is becoming harder to find these days, and a lack of motivation makes us uninspired and as writers, that's one of the worst things that could happen. Still, writing about that is so refreshing and inspiring.
    I enjoyed the simile with winter's breeze; I just love Winter in poetry. And the connection and metaphor with summertime was just lovely.
    The ending was unexpected for me. It was so well-written and heart-breaking for me. I know you might not mean it literally here, but I can relate to it somehow. Having an unstable life; moving from one place to another in just a few months without having connected with the place is depressing. Well, sorry for rambling, but I just love this piece and how it is so relatable. How it is open for interpretation whether literally, figuratively or metaphorically was just amazing. Keep writing!

  • 7 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    I know I sound like a broken record, but I have to say I feel like we are long lost twins....sighs-
    For you always seem to write the thoughts that I have felt... I feel you in this piece...

    This poem just flows.. and it truly brings out your heart and within the details of your thoughts and elegantly displays them into a beautiful poem...

    Very Nice Liz-

  • 7 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    My sweetest Liz,

    I feel such sadness in your words; these impatient, desperate convictions that has recently escorted every piece of yours. I feel that hunger that I myself have, deep within. Loved your piece and relate to it totally. I know that it is frustrating, but I also know that you are a strong woman who will fight, struggle and have motivation back, especially when she realises that her strength inspires hundreds or perhaps thousands of people.

    I have become a big fan of your poetry, of the way you weave your words with magic, the way you drum with my heart strings everytime you write something new. I have become addicted to your work.

    'You left me behind
    like I was winter's breeze
    and you were the summertime
    heat keeping warm
    without me,'

    I just guess that an 'as if' would've worked better than 'like'? It felt to me off the way it was put there. I don't know what made me dislike the way you made this stanza flow. I have re-written it and will show you it but if you like it this way then never mind me babbling:

    'You left me behind
    as if I were a Winter, breezing
    and you were summertime
    heat; keeping warm
    without me,'
    - - -

    That would be my only critique here. I loved the falling part and the ending was just awesome! I apologise I am not going to talk much here since I am on my phone and my fingernails are bugging me while writing lol I just wanted to say that I love you & your work!

  • 7 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    Great wording,,great imagery but very sad poem but greatly written and I hope u do not feel this way,,cuz it is very sad,,,if so just think I've heard once,,the only way up is down,,do take care,,great poem 5/5 always

  • 7 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Beautiful write.....left a lump in my throat .....i feel for you genuinely i do....we've all felt like this at sometime and you translated it masterfully ... Big loves x