Lost the key

There is so much more going on in me
Than anyone can see..
I'm always avoiding
Even though there is something...
My feelings are in jail
They are only sometimes allowed to exhale
They are locked up behind a big wall
And when I'm walking on the street, I sometimes feel so small
I usually want to hold myself together
But I know it's not better
And when I let some of my feelings go
There's also a big part I don't show
It's only for a while and then they go back in prison
Which is not always my favorite decision

I always seem to find a reason to not let it all out
On the outside I seem calm, but on the inside I want to shout so loud
This makes me not know how I feel every day
On Monday I feel so sad and then I hide it away
So far away that it doesn't appear anymore
So then I'm a little unsure
About how I feel, what is real and what is fake?
Am I really feeling okay or am I about to break?
Someone has to get me out of jail
And make me less afraid when I'm about to fail
I don't want to pretend everything is okay
Day after day after day
Because that will break me down inside
So sometimes I shouldn't hide
From all that's going on inside

It feels like I'm locked up in myself and I lost the key
So I have to find the key, open the door and go look for the real me
I have to figure out myself
And crawl out of my shell
I should stop keeping all my feelings behind the wall
And I should be less afraid to sometimes fall
And I should feel a little bigger instead of so small..
I have to open the door
And show the person behind Emma (me....) a little more
It sounds easier than it is
But I should believe in myself so I'm going to say that I can do this