I love it, it's like a poem written for me
Looking at the time, a feeling you haven't
gone nowhere
excellent written

We all feel trapped Liz. It is part of this game called life. Great piece.

At some point in our lives we feel lost; I love how you penned that here. The emotion seeps through each line, at the same time the imagery you painted for the reader was vivid and beautiful. I also love the personification of time, really creative.
The title easily catches the reader's attention and heightens curiosity.

'She takes control of
the wheel and even
if we'd crash, she would
survive without me.'
^I can't help but quote that. I've never thought of 'time' as a driver; now that I read this, time can be the driver of our lives. Whatever happens, in the end time/life goes on even if our own lives end. It really shows the insignificance of people :/

'They would be infected
by her lack of reasoning.'
^I love this part so much. It shows how time has no 'heart' or feelings unlike humans. But it always ends for people; time is something we can never conquer.

'It's
now 1:30 and if I don't get
it right...if my fingers slip
and put another time on
the alarm, I need to
start all over again.'
^Beautiful. Whenever we make mistakes, we can't turn back time no matter what we do to undo and redo; a very common obssession of people. More often than not, we want things to be perfect and the most common thought is: if we can turn back time, then... but when we make mistakes, we're not supposed to go 'back', but rather, move forward; that's why we have 'tomorrow'. I like the 'I need to start all over again' here. It adds a hopeful tone here in contradiction to the sad tone of bitter reality that's been presented all throughout the whole piece; it was a good balance.

'Time may be
at my fingertips
but I feel like
I'm going nowhere.'
^You really took advantage of what repetition could do. It didn't seem forced. And the sad tone was once again presented, but it didn't overburden the whole piece.

A really amazing piece. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Keep writing :)
-X

A nice write Lioness.
Captures those 'lost' feelings in words.
It's how so many of us feel.
I enjoyed reading this.

Liz, Liz, Liz.

When I say that this is beautiful, DON'T believe me because it's still something even more than just 'beautiful'. So many stuff I loved: I loved the dark, eerie, unstable tune here. How you managed wonderfully to draw the reader in and make them feel the same uncontrollable and depressing atmosphere. You succeeded in doing that here!

I love the way you referred to 'time' as a 'she'. Like I don't know if that will make any sense but felt that you said 'she' instead of 'he' because it ain't 'bout emotions, it's ..like jealousy? Resentment?

I also loved how you said that she would survive without you, made me think as if she betrayed you. I just loved that.

Loved also the repetition of the opening at the end. It's like nothing changed. It's like you're 'assuring' us that nothing changed. Totally indescribabe.

I could go on and on but I'm on my phone and my fingers hurt lol so will stop here but what a piece! Clever! ;)

:O Wow Liz,
This is AMAZING!

I read this earlier just after you posted, but have a new phone and am trying to figure out how to use it LOL, and I can't zoom in properly, so I am a bit stuck, LOL

But now I am here and commenting, and comment I will...

I also love the personification with time and the repetition of the first stanza at the end...
and the title I sort of found a little uncertain of at first but it fits well, and I see how you write about your early starts but the way you did was sort of heartbreaking...

You really know how to move me Liz,
I love you
xxx

Comparing time to a driver was incredible! I loved the creativity in a piece. Insomnia sucks, I hate not being able to fall asleep...

Amazing write. Great details! I loved this!

Thank you to everyone's comments on my poem. I really appreciate it and loved everyone's take on what I wrote.

I just wanted to explain more in depth what this poem was about. It's more about my OCD and one of my "rituals" that I do on a daily basis.

My body has this thing about waking me up in the mornings, I end up waking up about 1am. Any normal person would just go back to sleep but I will get up and go and have a shower to get ready for work. Then I would go back to sleep when it was time to leave. When I put the alarm on the phone to wake me up for work after my shower, if somehow my fingers manage to screw up the time and put the incorrect time on the alarm, or if it doesn't spin to the numbers I want it to, then I start all over again. That was the idea of time being at my fingertips and not going anywhere. I hope this makes sense.

Thanks guys for your awesome comments, I did love them!!!

x

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiz!!
This is an outstanding piece of art. As always, people can relate to your words and to your raw emotions.

Well done, and great job hon :)

:O

When I was reading this poem, it reminded me of something I have a tendency to do..

I wasn't sure if this was related to OCD, but that's what came to my mind when I saw that you had to check the time to make sure it was set right.

I love poems that have time included in them, and this one was no exception.

X

Wow
you know sad poems are doors to reality, what can I say, they said it all.
Wosh you the best Liz<3

I have read this poem a lot, but I was afraid to comment.

You are amazing, Liz... It's like you are delving into my world, too... I, check my iPhone a lot, just to see if the alarm is set right... Before I leave the house, I check the oven... I stress on my pen a million times, when I study I do creepy stuff... ugh, know that you aren't alone in this world.. maybe the degree is more severe, but I'd rather not think of this much....

This is really a killer,and how you put it in this poem, in this tone, in this style.... just made it more true to me.

Excellent. Excellent.

This is an emotionally charged piece. I like how you sewed the whole poem together to speak to the reader. I also like how you didn't over complicate the piece. This made a good read that I felt in my heart too.

5/5